It happened this weekend.
A Wall Street Journal exclusive reported that the Department of Energy has concluded—based on new intelligence—that the origin of the “COVID-19 pandemic” was most likely a lab leak.
Oooooohhh Snapple Apple! Trumpers, truthers, dissenters and conspiracy theorists alike cheered as they claimed victory over the virus-themed information war of the past three years! Altogether now…
Boom! Boom! Boom! Bam! Boom! Boom! Bam! Boom!
Boom! Boom! Bam! Boom!
Boom! Boom! Boom! Bam! Boom! Boom! Bam! *Chuck Norris kick*
Except there is just one little problem. One of these things is not like the others. While we have tools to measure most of these list items, we have not been shown any proof whatsoever that there was a lab leak. None. Nada. Nil. Risky science and sick people in China doesn’t prove it. In fact, one could say that describes America quite well (i.e. this and that).
In fact, I would go out on a limb and say that this is exactly where they wanted people who didn’t fall for the pangolin-humping bat theory to end up. When orchestrating a global operation, they know there will be a healthy amount of skeptics from the jump. It only makes sense that they lead with a story that is absolutely absurd but also condemn a seemingly plausible theory very early on to insure people adopt that idea, too. Fast forward three years and you have “new intelligence” that promotes that exact counter-theory. The resisters feel vindicated—claiming victory after having solved nothing whatsoever—as the conspirators have successfully drawn out their long con. Pair the Wuhan lab leak with a nice glass of chianti and a side of anti-China propaganda and voila!
I’m sorry, but I just can’t help thinking we skipped some steps right from the start.
Gain-of-function or gain-of-coverup?
In his opening monologue on SNL this weekend, that “bad boy” Woody Harrelson cracked the joke millions were waiting to hear and millions more feared.
Oooooooohhhh Snapple Apple! What a rebel! He really it stuck it to the man!
Except he didn’t. If there is one thing we know about SNL in 2023, it’s that Lorne Michaels has politically steered the ship so violently in one way for so long that the show has lost its creative lifeblood. Woody said what he said because it was time to say it and he was playing his part. The media—as if they knew it was coming—played their role as well.
And just like that, we’re back in 2020 distracting ourselves with the same dumb arguments with the same dumb people.
Oligarchs laugh.
nicely put together, bud. just subbed and retweeted!
Boom, bang, kick ball change !! Of course we knew this.